Dear Annie

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2022

Dear Annie: There’s a pizza place my husband and I go to once in a while near our home that has a really nice wait staff -- mostly younger girls -- but there is one gal, “Veronica,” who’s older, and we hit it off really well. We were good friends, or so I thought. The last two times we have been in for lunch, she has gone out of her way to avoid us and won’t even make eye contact.

It hurts my feelings because I don’t know what I have done to be treated this way given the fact she won’t talk to me. I have sent her Facebook messages and texted her cell. I don’t get a “read” receipt on any of them, so I’m thinking she has blocked or deleted me from her accounts. I am really at a loss. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me like this, but no one has ever treated me this badly. -- Hurt in the South

Dear Hurt: This tiff with Veronica is obviously weighing on you, and I can sympathize: It’s never fun being on the receiving end of the silent treatment. But people don’t usually stonewall others -and not their friends, especially -- without a reason. Try to think back on your last interactions with Veronica. Is it possible there was a miscommunication or a passing comment that could have rubbed her the wrong way?

Regardless of the fact that she won’t respond to your virtual messages, conflict resolution is always done best face-to-face. The next time you’re at the restaurant, see if you can grab Veronica for a quick chat (ideally at the end of her shift or during a break). If this last attempt to make peace goes south, leave the ball in her court knowing that you’ve tried your best and done all you can to rectify the situation and salvage your friendship.

Dear Annie: The tips you provided to “Striving for Moderation,” who was trying to spend less time on his or her phone, were excellent, and I’d like to offer one more that has worked wonders for me. Notifications and “push alerts” suck us into looking at our phones and then wasting those mindless hours. I have turned off almost all push notifications to my phone -- email, text messages and all social media apps -- which causes me to pick up my phone less.

People have learned to call me if they need me quickly, which has allowed for more substantive conversations. I don’t feel the need to read or answer every email the moment it comes in. And I’m not distracted from my work or family every time my phone taps me with some useless information. Bottom line: Cut off the temptation to pick up your phone, and you’ll organically use it less and your life satisfaction will go up tremendously. -- Notify Me No More

Dear Notify Me No More: Another great idea. We don’t need to be 100% reachable 100% of the time. Thank you for your suggestion.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.

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